Never Seen The Dark Knight

Before I even try to talk about the Dark Knight trilogy, I would like to open with a disclaimer. I freaking love Batman. I really do. I’ve been watching the cartoons since the age of three. Poison Ivy was one of my earliest childhood idols. I definitely still own a Batman mask, and I’m not even going to pretend that I don’t occasionally wear it while I’m doing the washing-up or going out to buy milk. It’s just that – when it came to actually watching the biggest blockbuster of the summer – I never quite got round to it. I totally saw Avengers about eight times, though, so lay off me.

I’m mostly just going to focus on The Dark Knight Rises, the most recent of the three films. Let’s not pretend that any of you can remember anything from the previous two, aside from Christian Bale’s voice getting progressively more ridiculous, and Heath Ledger hissing “Why so serious?” at various points that may or may not actually be relevant to the storyline. I think there was something to do with boats at one point too, and humanity turning out to be inherently good and inspirational, but who actually remembers that? We’re all in it for the punching and the things going ‘boom’.

While talking to friends (read as: lurking around groups of people conversing in public places and pretending to be their friend), I picked up some hugely mixed reviews of Dark Knight Harder. They ranged all the way from “Oh my God, it’s the greatest cinematic masterpiece of our generation and perhaps of all time!” to “It was four thousand hours long and what the fuck is wrong with Tom Hardy’s voice?”. This, almost without exception, led into an intense argument, at which point I would back away and go back to standing alone in the corner. If I know nothing else about students, I know that they take their superheroes seriously.

Despite not actually seeing it, I’m pretty sure there was a point when I was super excited about The Dark Knight Strikes Back. It was around the time when they kept rumouring that various people were going to be playing the Riddler. Johnny Depp was going to be the Riddler, and then David Tennant was going to be the Riddler, and then male Zooey Deschanel was going to be the Riddler, and then we ended up with no Riddler at all, but instead got Tom Hardy with a hilarious accent playing that one creepy guy with the Hannibal Lecter thing on his face who nobody’s really heard of. I’ve heard he was pretty good, but I’ve also heard that he was terrible. Then again, no matter how good he was, he never had a hope of living up to Jack Nicholson, poor guy.

And then, of course, there was Anne Hathaway, who is apparently no longer just that girl from The Princess Diaries, but is now, to our collective shock, quite good at her job. Of course, we were all very concerned that she wasn’t going to live up to the… ahem… high bar that previous Catwomen (I’m talking, of course, about Halle Berry) set for her, but she was wonderful. Spectacular. You’d almost think she was a trained actor. In fact, Anne was the only aspect of The Dark Knight Goes Forth that didn’t have confusing mixed responses. Everyone loved her. She’s our leather-and-spandex-clad sweetheart. Well done Anne. You rocked them cat ears that weren’t actually cat ears.

Bizarrely, despite spending so much time listening to people talking about The Dark Knight Two: Pig in the City, I have heard absolutely balls-all about the storyline. I could honestly tell you zero things about what actually happens in those ninety two hours of film, aside from a lot of punching and angst. Considering I usually get the storyline of any film I haven’t seen screamed in my ear by people who are deeply, intensely offended by the fact that I haven’t seen it, I’m starting to suspect that, like The Godfather, most of you haven’t actually seen it either.

[Susie Rae]

Five Year Engagement

Following the release of The Muppets in February, I’ve had a soft spot for Jason Segel, and I saw a poster for The Five Year Engagement a while ago, so it’s been on my mind for some months. With its release a week ago, it moved swiftly to the top of my must-see list.

Segel plays Tom Solomon, a skilled sous chef in San Francisco, who met his girlfriend (and soon to be fiancée), Violet Barnes, at a New Year’s Eve party. Emily Blunt fills the role of Violet, and acts as an interesting pairing to Segel’s eccentricities.

After a proposal of sorts, the two settle into engaged life together, and begin to plan their wedding. There are a few formalities first, such as the engagement party, where we meet family and friends of the stars. Community‘s Alison Brie crops up as Violet’s little sister, and for the rest of the film demonstrates the life you expect Tom and Violet to live together.

Violet’s ambition to work in academia leads the film towards its name, as the couple put off their wedding for the sake of their careers… or at least the career of one of them. The pair move to accommodate Violet’s new job, and Tom’s life descends into chaos as he meets local househusbands and tries to find his feet in a new town. Tom’s misery and mishaps provide some decent laughs, but the oddities are interspersed with some weak scenes of Violet at work.

The film seemed to take longer than necessary to progress, as only halfway through I found myself shifting in my seat, bored as the jokes dried up and the story seemed to slip away.

It did come back for the finale, as the cast pull together for a whirlwind finish. The standout scene of the film was Blunt and Brie arguing about family and marriage, but in the voices of Cookie Monster and Elmo respectively. It seems Segel, a co-writer of the film, just can’t clear his head of those cuddly fiends.

Overall, with a number of good laughs, I would consider re-watching this film on DVD, if not at the cinema. The scenes with Segel were the most fun, and when joined by Blunt, the film delivered a much needed alternative to big summer blockbusters.

[Euan Murphy]

Alphonse – Len’s Ex

[Sean Iles]

Sometimes it takes being chained up and whipped to know what you want in life.

Moonrise Kingdom

We here at qmunicate were so excited to hear about Wes Anderson’s 9th film that we decided to give you two reviews. There’s Paddy on the left and Kerr on the right (Their positions don’t reflect their politics). 

Utter Filth

Last weekend I spent my Saturday night somewhere slightly further afield than Sauchiehall Street. And not Bath Street – further still! I ventured to Stirling, a pretty and historic town, but not somewhere you immediately associate with a good night out.

However, it would seem that this is changing. Becoming increasingly despondent over the town’s less than inspiring nightlife, two students have taken it upon themselves to transform it. Together (and with the help of an army of friends), they have created ‘Filth’, an alternative club-night delivering the best of electro, house, drum& bass and dubstep to the immensely appreciative ears of Stirling.

Irrefutably and increasingly popular, Filth is arguably one of Scotland’s most surprising breakthrough nights from the last year, so I caught up one of the co-organisers – a very merry Andy Coffey (left in picture) – to find out exactly how (and why) they did it.

Filthy boys Andy Coffey and Nathan Berrie

‘We started Filth cause we were going out all the time, and we were like “Where’s all the good music? Why the hell are we listening to Rihanna?!” There was no alternative.’ explains Andy.

The night has been running monthly for just over a year now, and since its humble beginnings in a local pub, Filth continues to get bigger and better each time, last Saturday night’s event being the biggest yet. More of a festival than a club night, we weren’t crammed in to a sweaty club but were out in the open air, in the sun-drenched yard of Stirling’s Old Town Jail. I asked Andy how Filth had transformed in what has been a relatively short period of time;

‘Tonight is the culmination of a whole year of Filth. We started off at the Crooked Arm, a wee pub in Bridge of Allen. The night was DIY to the extreme. We had one strobe light, a laptop, a mixer and that was it. It was free as we just wanted to throw a decent night with decent music, no thoughts of profit at all. We expected maybe 80 friends, but by midnight over 180 people had packed into the pub. It was the start of something new for the Stirling night scene.’

After the success of this initial night, Filth moved on to a variety of Stirling’s nightclubs, with ticket sales for each event in their hundreds. Now, it seems, even these venues can no longer contain it; the open air being the only option.

In my opinion, this success is well deserved. While on the surface it would seem that its popularity is perhaps due to the lack of competition, I can assure the music and atmosphere at Filth rivals anything you’ve experienced in Glasgow or Edinburgh. As well as providing a platform for some seriously talented local DJs, the night also pulls in some big names from across Scotland. Previous nights have held host to Euan Neilson of Killer Kitsch, Beta and Kappa (Tuesday night at Subclub – you’ve been, you just might not remember), and Polymath.

What’s also great about Filth is the passion behind it. Started with nothing more than the desire to play some good music, it has now become quite the community, with more and more people eager to help out in any way they can. It has acted as a catalyst for a new music scene within the town, with new nights cropping up in recent months. Although they could not have foreseen Filth’s success, according to Andy, the hope was always to “change the musical landscape of Stirling”, and rather than regarding these new nights as competition, he is actually happy about this upsurge of alternative events.

‘We’ve shown that there are people around the town who like this kind of music. We’ll probably get involved with [these other nights], us guys should just help each other out, and hopefully it’ll just grow and grow and grow.’

Even with a now well-established fan base within Stirling, he remains ambitious, with hopes that the night will continue to expand.

‘We’re trying to get people from all around Scotland, not just Stirling. We’ve built up a fan base here, which is great, but I’ve travelled to Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Glasgow and Dundee [to see DJs]. Why can’t we book someone really big, and people will think “Fuck it, let’s go to Stirling for the night!”’

And I really do urge you to exclaim ‘Fuck it!’ and to go to Stirling for the night. It’s only around  a half hour train journey, and with hostel rooms for about a tenner, and drinks and entry cheaper than anywhere in Glasgow, you’re likely to return with more change in your pocket than you would after a jaunt to Subclub.

But if you really can’t bear to tear yourself away from the comfort of your own city, you’re in luck; Filth may soon be right on your doorstep. Andy is initially somewhat elusive when asked if there are plans to expand to Glasgow, my question met with only “Oh, there are plans”. Eventually, however, he reveals that as of September, we can look forward to a collaboration with the wonderful Killer Kitsch for a regular event, and Andy feels optimistic that this endeavour will prove as much a success as the Stirling nights;

‘There’s so much competition through there, but I think with our fan base and passion, and Killer Kitsch’s experience, we could have a winning formula.’

With the ambition these guys have, I wouldn’t be surprised if Filth became as big in Glasgow as it is in Stirling.

For upcoming events, have a nosey at their Facebook page by clicking on Filth

[Abbey Shaw]